Those too are quite cheesy, loaded at times with music that sounds like it might be good to hear while waiting on the end of a busy phone line. Yet it's good that there's such a high-level of camp value with scenes that look improvised with the actors (there's one woman-on-woman scene where a bunch of guys stand around them saying "argh" the whole time and cheer on as if truly drunken), because if one were to grade this on a scale like the folks at Hustler magazine or other magazines of the sort do, it wouldn't necessarily get a very high grade either, unless if based on subjective perceptions of the sizes of certain 'things' and how such scenes are sort of staged.
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A few times it looks as though the director actually understands that a movie like Pirates has to be something of a parody in order to keep the attention of its viewing public- past the obvious points, of which need not be mentioned here.
Much of it is basically convoluted (yes, even more-so) knock-off material and characterization from the POTC movies, which is not all that bad a thing. You'll get the idea about five minutes into the film, if not sooner. Other actresses with one-names like Teagan and Devon maybe aren't quite as adept at that sort of aspect of the performance.
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Probably the best bet with the 'actors' though is long-time porno pro Evan Stone, who says his lines with the convincing silliness and strength of a Bruce Campbell (he's probably the only one who 'gets' how stupid this all is, and rolls with it). It's not even really good dialog so much as good quotes, lines that you and your friends (or whomever you may or may not be watching the movie with) will be saying verbatim or close to it for days. But it is, however, of the highest order of sleaze entertainment, and it's a really, really funny movie all the same. I can't really recommend it, in a big sense, as it has no real merit whatsoever as far as real creativity goes. It's a showcase for the director, named simply Joone, to showcase a lot of well-lit XXX sex scenes and lots of ultra-corny CGI involving seascapes, caves, ships, and with the icing on the cake being skeleton pirates that have to duel with some bad-ass girls on an island. You will laugh with and at the movie, especially if you keep in mind the fact that its source is an adult film.The Pirates porno, the most expensive ever produced (at a whopping $150,000), is excruciating to watch if you're trying to look for a good plot, or entirely "good" acting ability. If you're tired of the typical late night fare you find on many pay cable stations give this film a try. Its an odd thing to do when the film tries very hard to be something other than a stereotypical adult film. My only real complaint is that all of the main women look about the same, large breasted blonds of similar stature and builds. I'm guessing in mainstream hands this might have been a successful pirate action film.
The script is actually reasonably good and properly silly (though with some of the cast anything beyond silly might have been a stretch). The effects are uneven, but serviceable (and provide a great homage/spoof with a marvelous riff on the skeleton scene in Jason and the Argonauts). What can I say the acting is wildly uneven, but the cast is still game.
He is pursued by some pirate hunters who pick up the wife and remain close on the heels of the villains. The plot has something to do with a pirate captain wanting to get a magical Incan scepter that will give him great power to this end he kidnaps a recently married man who holds the key to the hereabouts of the scepter and throws the wife overboard. Better than many soft-core trash films that play late night on cable this is actually a movie I'd want to see again.
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Certainly the fact the film can have 40 minutes of sex removed and have it survive says a great deal(The full version runs over two hours). I'm not sure I liked it because its better than most adult films or because its a good movie in its own right. Its a pirate porn movie thats actually plays as a decent little movie.